Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
