Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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