it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
