I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
