I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
