Quick, to the slutcave!
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woke up backwards on a recliner
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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