i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
