yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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