Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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