We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
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Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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