is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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