I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
they need to just BURY HIM!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I want to be your penis for a week.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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