i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
