You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
