I hate your face
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
