Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize