What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You're like the curious george of whores
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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