is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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