Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
