so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Never joke about your clitoris.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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