I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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