The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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