Can i not drive my cunt home
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize