What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
