I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
