Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize