Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
