I want to stick my p in your. b.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
