We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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