I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
