Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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