I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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