we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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