My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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