Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
