dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize