im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
