Me too!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
