hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I think people are normalizing furries
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
