The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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