Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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