If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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