Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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