Don't you send me to vm
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize