If that was your dad, he is hot
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
