i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
