In the future we'll all be gay
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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