So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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