I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I look better un-naked...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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