Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
