I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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