The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
