guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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