The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He passed out mid-signature
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
