no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
