Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
