i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize