There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
ok first of all what the fuck
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
