How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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