They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
