mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
